If it feels like “you vs the World” it is most likely “you vs you”.

If there is something I have learnt from Eastern philosophies, that is the attitude towards what is happening to one self. There are moments in our life where we can’t choose or influence what is happening to us, but we can make a decision how we react to those things. Decision about our attitude is something we can always make! There are many uncertainties in life, because (of my understanding) that is the way of life – it’s ever changing. That is given, so when it comes to various circumstances in our daily lives – there are moments it just looks and feels like all the heavens and hell are against us. World hates us for no apparent reason. When you can’t influence events – make up your mind to flow with them. Save yourself a headache.

It is not the World. It is you. And the sooner one learns to make his decision about attitude regarding all the changing stuff that happens all around us – the more easy it will be to go through life. This is something I first learnt in communication and work with other people. I didn’t understand it fully till I read Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people” (great read by the way!). “Only time when you can make someone to do it is – if he want’s to do it.” Amazing.

How this applies to decision making about attitude, though? Good question! As soon as I understood that the only way to get someone truly do something is because they have to want it, I understood also that initiator to every human action is wanting to do it. It takes enormous effort and in most of the cases also the time to change a persons mind. Through basketball I have learned one important lesson – referees never change their minds. What’s the point to argue? Bad call! So? He will never take that bad call back, so suck it up and keep playing! How many good players I have seen to get technical fouls and get fouled out of game (myself counting, in youth team games I made my mother blush), coaches get thrown out of facilities. All because – they weren’t able to make a decision to shut up and go with the flow. I learned to shut the fuck up and keep playing. Make the decision.

Next time the life challenges you with something you can’t directly influence – make a decision towards your attitude. Instead of being grumpy little scum, decide to overcome this matter in positive way! Become better! Make something good out of the situation, whatever it is. Let it be your lesson, take notes. Don’t allow the situation to make you, make the situation. Decide.

~V.R.